Malicious User Model

The Malicious User Model originated in computer science, but is slowly gaining popularity in other areas such as manufacturing (where it is increasingly supplanting the well-established and highly successful Stupid User Model), the Audio and Video recording industry, and, of course, teaching.

The original form of the Model consists of a single entity named UMA (Unrelenting Malicious Attacker) whose thought process is to be explored as the model is implemented.

UMA is defined by eight personality traits, which are as follows:

• UMA is manipulative - she will attempt to define variables her way whenever she can
• UMA is deceptive and therefore maintains a number of alias and password combinations that she will use until one is accepted
• UMA is loquacious - she will contribute the maximum amount of data possible as often as possible
• UMA is materialistic and will gladly 'accept' any exposed valuables such as password files or email addresses.
• UMA is self-absorbed and therefore ignores anything that she is told; in fact, she usually does the opposite
• UMA is selfish - she wants to be the only one with everything, so she will delete or destroy other people's things at every available opportunity
• UMA is highly selective and favors the more popular or attractive software as targets
• UMA is temperamental - about every 28 seconds she will spontaneously lash out and sporadically send a lengthy string of character garbage in an attempt to confuse and overwrite buffers.

Since the traits are tailored to the computer industry, the model required modifications to cross the boundaries into other fields. The general form of the model retains the eight basic personality constructs of the original, but does not provide the elaborations shown above -- or, as purists say, "it sucks".

As the model grew in its infamy, it became more and more scrutinized and eventually fell under attack by certain interest groups. Most notably, the modern feminists took immediate offense to the model claiming that it is degrading to women for the simple fact that it is true.

Despite the bickering, or perhaps because of it, the Malicious User Model has gained large recognition by various entities -- a disturbing number of them being lawyers -- and is now well on its way to becoming totally ingrained in society.