Misanthropic Principle

Many people claim that the universe is the way that it is because that's the way we need it to be in order to exist; however, such an idea grossly misrepresents the reality of the matter -- in fact, quite the contrary is true: the universe is the way that it is because we lifeforms would much prefer that it be completely different.

This is a simplified form of what has come to be known as the Misanthropic Principle which states that "any universe which contains any life whatsoever is designed to maximally inconvenience this life". Thus, the universe isn't designed for us, but rather against us; anything that happens in our favor is either an hallucination, a sign of dementia, or something that will come back to bite us in the ass.

Many other axioms on this matter exist and the Misanthropic principle is in accordance with them all -- even the famed Principle of Worst Occurrences and the less widely-accepted "Up Yours" Axiom.

The best known method for coping with the Misanthropic Principle is large quantities of alcohol or sex... or combinations thereof.