Null Chocolate Strike

The Null Chocolate Strike refers to a months-long cessation of chocolate confectionary production due to a dispute between the Women Candy Workers (WCW) Union and Sweets Management. The total economic loss due to the strike is estimated at 42 trillion chocolates—exclusive of secondary costs such as increased divorce rates, health problems arising from chocolate-deprivation-induced stress, or Valentine's Day murders.

The major dispute in the strike involved what are known as "residuals"—chocolate delicacies that can not be sold nor reprocessed and which originate from occasional defects in manufacturing. These residuals typically just lingered around the factory taking up space, costing the company money to store them. Sweets Management insisted the residuals not be wasted, and attempted to reduce the ever-increasing quantities by gifting them to family members. Ultimately, however, the production of residuals exceeded the gluttonous consumption of management's relatives—leaving a growing pile of unmarketable candies on the factory floor.

Just as the number of residuals grew nearly unmanageable, the WCW contract came up for renewal. Distraught at the working conditions, WCW demanded something be done to empty the factory of these candies and had very specific ideas as how to handle them—Sweets Management, however, had different plans. In a phenomenally selfish attempt at appearing generous by giving away objects that could not otherwise be sold, Sweets Management took the position that the Union workers themselves should take the residuals, and count it as a bonus.

The WCW was horrified: they wanted no part of the residuals. It was well-established and widely known that the WCW prohibited the consumption of chocolate by any of its members because it made them less pretty. Furthermore, the Union even discouraged members' female children from eating chocolate hoping that if they did not consume it as a child they wouldn't eat it as an adult.

The audacity of Sweets Management was only surpassed by its stubbornness in insisting workers take residuals as a bonus. When it became clear that the WCW would not get the nothing they demanded, talks broke down and the strike commenced.

In the very beginning of the strike there was little impact on chocolate availability since Sweets Management had a couple of weeks worth of candy stockpiled; however, the strike ultimately outlasted these surplus candies and supplies began to dwindle. As chocolates became more inaccessible, public pressure began to mount on Sweets Management to strike a deal. After several failed televised campaigns trying to convince the general population that "the WCW chuckle a lot here to see double your chocolate pains", Sweets Management turned to the only source of candy it had available: residuals.

Rebranding the defective sweetmeats as "the last delicacy", Sweets Management tried to convince consumers that "an ugly chocolate beats no chocolate". Though limited in success, the desperate strategy did serve to reduce the residuals surplus to a level Sweets Management's relatives could handle. Having found an unlikely outlet for the residuals, Sweets Management begrudgingly conceded to Union demands and chocolate production resumed shortly thereafter.