The Universal Aunt Theorem

On every planet in the Universe there will be found Aunts.

Proof:

Any planet worth visiting will be visited in large numbers and large numbers of organic beings will eventually have a picnic. By the Principle of Worst Occurrences, Aunts must arrive to ruin this picnic. Therefore, Aunts must be found on this planet.

This Theorem was stated as a modification to the Universal Ant Theorem -- though the latter's creator was the one to disprove the former with the following statement: "The Universal Aunt Theorem is violated by organic beings with a number of genders not equal to two and is therefore invalid."